Unwanted Advances

While visiting at a nudist resort in Florida, a “gentleman” approached me, asking if he could sit and talk.  I, of course said yes, so the gentleman sat and visited for about an hour.

The conversation was the normal chit-chat, name, where from, what do I do for a living, likes, dislikes, etc.  All seemed good, normal and actually quite pleasant.  Then came the advances.  I explained (politely) that I was not interested, but thanks for asking.  This however did not stop him.  Next came the casual touching, he slide over, leg against leg, then soon a shoulder touching or him telling a joke and lightly touch my arm as if we were old friends.

I stressed to him again that I was not interested.  I explained that his behavior was not appreciated nor was it appropriate.   Then he said the all time, over the top pick up line that always makes women jump into men’s arms; “oh come one, you know you want it”.  I informed him, his actions have gone way beyond reasonable or acceptable and I was going to management to have him taken care of.

He, of course got a little upset.  Okay, extremely upset.  He informed me, that I was the issue.  I… Yes, I was the issue, a tease, a slut and a bitch.  He went on to say that I needed to change my ways and stop being a hypocrite because “everyone knows the real reason to come to a nudist resort”.

I with my ultimate wisdom (meaning smarta@@ attitude) replied with a simple but subtle comment.  “Sir, I am reporting you to resort management.  I am requesting you leave me alone.  People like you give nudism a bad rap, and lastly, I am not attracted to you; your personality nor your body.  Sir, I come here to the resort to relax, not to hit on men and definitely not to be hit on by men”.

I have used this experience in my seminars and classes.  And there is always at least one person that responds with: 

Q:  If you don’t go to a nudist resort to “get lucky” then why do you go?

A:  Why do you go to the beach or a ski resort?  The reasons for doing things are not any different just because you are doing it in the nude.  Yes, some people go to clothing required beach to find a date, meet new people for a relationship.  Some may do that at a nudist resort or beach, but it is only a few that are that way.  To a nudist, a place where we can go and be nude, do normal things such as sunbath, swim, play volleyball, meet like minded people, or just relax; all in the nude, that is why nudists go to nude facilities.

Yes, it really is that simple.  Most people discussing or thinking about nudism, over think, over analyze or won’t think outside of the box.  For many, nudism is not a natural concept for their mind.  In most seminars, I do have to break the concept down to very basic thought processes to get around preconceived notions, emotions and ideals.

Have a great day!

Abby

Bless the Queen’s Estate Beach Now Open

Below is an article published Oct. 13th.  I hope you take the time to read it carefully.  The article is about the re-opening of what had become known as a nudist beach in the UK.  It was closed because of a small handful of deviants, pervs and sloths with no respect.

I have been to the beach.  It is a lovely beach and often heavily populated with nudists and naturalists.  However, there was a group of people conducting themselves in adult behavior with no respect for others.  Having sex in the middle of the beach, propositioning tours and regular beach goers as they walked by attempting to enjoy what they thought was a safe haven for nudity.

Because of the select few and their behavior the beach was closed; understandable so.  The beach, much to most delight, has been re-opened for nudists and naturalists.  The fear of course the bad element will return to the beach practicing elicit behavior and once again ruining the beach for others.

As I have said in the past and almost everyday in emails and blog posts…. nudism is NOT about sex.  It is about living a life clothes free.  Whether you are a nudist or not, it is NOT appropriate  to have sex, engage in sex acts or proposition beach goers.

I believe the preferred solution is to have law enforcement patrol the beach and arrest those practicing elicit behavior.  The word will get out; the beach is for nudists and naturalists not the lowly, morality lacking people using the beach to copulate.  It is people like these that give nude beaches, nude resorts and nudism in general a bad name.

Enough of my rant.  Here’s the link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2442382/The-Queens-estate-reverses-ban-nudists-famous-beach-imposed-complaints-haven-swingers-perverts.html

Have a great day!

Abby

Types Of Nudist Resorts

I have had several questions regarding the type of resorts, beaches and communities.  This post is to help distinguish the different types of nude “communities” and acceptable behavior of each.

First, Nude resorts.  A resort is just that, a resort where people go and enjoy a nude lifestyle within the confines of the resort.  Resorts are found all over the world and of several types or “star rating” much like a common resort.  As a general rule there are a few categories of resorts.   Please keep in mind these are generalized and often are referred to by different names or “titles”.

1. Family Friendly Resorts.  These resorts are becoming more and more common.  FFR’s are just that.  The are family friendly and are accessed by all ages; normally 17 years of age and younger must be accompanied by a parent or legal guardian.

--- Standards of behavior are that which is contusive to family gathers.  Any open/public sexual activity is forbidden.  This is a family friendly resort, get a room.   As with most resorts the display of a erection is the biggest concern.  Some resorts require an erection to be covered until there is no erection, but this is not necessarily the rule at all family resorts.  There maybe exceptions to this rule (if there is such a rule).  The exception may exclude boys at a certain age not to cover up since they are in the middle of maturing and have less control of the situation than grown males.  If exposing your children to viewing an erection is a concern, check the resort rules before booking your stay at the resort.

2. Adults Only Resorts.  AOR’s may include couples only resorts.  These resorts are not meant for children under the age of 18 or 21 in some cases.  This is not for any other reason other than, the resort does not want to be held liable for adult nudity around under aged children.  Some of these resorts require all adults to be in a relationship and there at the resort with their partner.  Now, how some are handling the “gay issue” varies from one resort to the next.  In some resorts any female can visit accompanied or unaccompanied however, been maybe required to check in with a female, not by themselves or with another male.  Again, this could fall into how each individual resort handles gay couples or individuals in general.  Better safe than sorry, call ahead and get a copy of the rules or ask point blank, don’t beat around the bush and ask!

3.  Swingers Nude Resorts.  SNR’s are for adults only but do not confuse them with an AOR.  This is a lifestyle all of it’s own, not only a nudist lifestyle but a swinger’s lifestyle as well.  It is common place in a SNR for there to be open/public sexual encounters throughout the resort.  This type of resorts are not for everyone and by no means should be used as a standard practice for the nudist lifestyle.  SNRs are for adults interested in “swinging” which is commonly said of those that swap partners, have multiple partners (at one time) or trade partners for a given length of time.

I hope this clears up some of the misunderstandings regarding Nudist Resorts and what is expected behavior.  No matter which type of resort you are interested in, you should call and get the resort rules or at least ask in a plain and easy to understand question regarding your concerns.

Hope this helps!

Abby

Girls Night and Nudity

Hi everyone,

Thought I would let everyone know, Aunt Abby is away on a lecture tour and my folks are out fighting a fire in another state.  Grams is here watching me so it’s all good, right? 

Anyway, several of my friends from school are here for a sleep over (all girls, sorry guys, the other Moms so no to a coed sleep over).

As a group, we have been discussing several topics (as us teen girls always do).

First, boys.  Boys are cool, but we all agreed we are way to young to be risking getting pregnant!  Do we want to date?  Yes, of course.  But dating does not mean sex!!  We all agreed, kissing would be good but more than that, well….  sorry!   Again, way to young.

Second, nudity.  Yes we are all sitting around enjoying the comforts and freedoms of being nude.  No one here has a problem being nude.  Again, we all agreed, it is NOT a sex thing.  It is a comfort thing!  A lifestyle thing, a preference… but is not a sex thing so get over it and I’m not talking to just the boys out there.  I’m talking to other girls the snub their noses up think they are too good to be nude, I’m talking to those that wrinkle their noses at nudists stating their opinion as if it was facts and not ever experiencing nudism.  You need to get over yourselves and stop being disrespectful to those that are nudists.  Just because you don’t like it (whether you have tried it or not) doesn’t mean you should be disrespectful to us.  We aren’t disrespectful to you.

Third, touchy feely.  As girls normally do, we are always hugging each other, laying a hand on each other, having our arms around each other while we walk around or whatever the touchy feely is.  Just because we are naked when we do it, doesn’t mean it’s any different than girls that do the same thing when dressed.  Again, it’s not a sex thing.  In fact, from what I have seen, heard and read, the non-nudist are the ones that make it a sex thing.  If we are naked and walking arm in arm, holding hands, or showing some kind of physical contact it is considered a sexual.  But, if we are walking around the mall walking arm in arm, holding hands or showing some kind of physical contact it is considered cute or a sign of best friends like sisters.  Again, the non-nudists relate nudism, being naked to SEX.  It’s NOT!!!

Forth, sexuality.  As nudist, I believe we are more aware of our sexuality than non-nudists.  Nudists (at least the ones I know) seem to talk about a sexual topic more openly and more matter of fact than those that are not nudists.  Whether a person is straight, gay or bi, doesn’t matter when it comes to talking about sexual behavior, sexual preference or just sex in general.  We seem to be more confident, less embarrassed (if at all), more open minded and less judgmental than non-nudists.  BDSM, oral, or whatever the topic, it should be discussed if someone has questions.  It might not be for one person but maybe it is by the next.  So it’s their choice.  Just like someone liking or disliking apples.  Doesn’t mean it is a reason to like or dislike that person so long as they don’t try to force their way on someone who has they are not interested.

We have a few more topics that we discussed as a group, shaved pubic area’s, self pleasure, fantasies, hobbies and the human body.  Serious discussions with a lot of humor mixed in.  I will post more of it later, we have just entered a new topic…. Naked in public.

L

Internet and Nudists

The internet has of course both helped and hurt the Nudists by informing people the way of nudist lifestyle.  This has been both good and bad although the good has far out reached the bad, the bad has been obviously labor intense to delete, respond and/or make the bad misinformation and attitude disappear.

The bad of course being the people (sorry mostly men), trying to get in contact with the nudists through the internet for things other than nudist lifestyle questions, resort questions etc. Not all the contact has been sex related and it takes several emails to make the men understand being nude is not sex related.  There have been a few times when a well place letter or email to these men and their internet provider was required; unfortunately we had to take extreme measures to do so, but we had to.

The internet has been a excellent source for sharing information easier whether it has been in regards to questions about the lifestyle or advertising for the nudist resorts.  Of course one draw back is when someone does a search regarding nudism, they have to wade through all of the porn that is using "nudist, nude sunbathing, nudist resort" and other key phrases to get the porn site in most searches done on the internet.

I have literally thousands of emails regarding nudism.  Most of these letters I have responded to both directly and in posted the questions and responses on my blog.  As you know I am still in the process of moving my blog here, so be sure to "follow" my blog for all updated posts.

I have recently been in a mind frying dilemma.  As some of you know my niece was posting her point of views on my blog; giving a teenage angle to very popular questions.  Since her passing, I have been struggling as to whether or not I should re-post her originals here.  The question is still there, it's up in the air.... Input is welcome if you so desire.

Hugs and kisses to you all.

Nudism & Erections

Q: “I have 3 children, 1 son and 2 daughters.  My husband and I have raised our children as nudists since our son was 5.  He is now in his early teens and it is obvious that he is more mature than as a parent, I tend to accept.  Recently he has said he didn’t want to participate in the nudist lifestyle anymore.  At first when asked he would not say why only that he didn’t want to.  I believe he is still interested because while in his room he is nude.  Recently I walked into his room and he was nude, so I asked again why he didn’t want to participate with the rest of the family.  He finally answered.  He said he cannot control himself from getting an erection and it was embarrassing to him when he is naked in front of everyone.  What do I say?”

A: First, this is very common among males in general.  This is something he needs to understand.  He is not the only one this happens to.  Your son will learn to control the timing of his erection to an extent, but that won’t be for some time.

Second, he can try these tips to help make his erection diminish when it occurs.  A cold shower often helps.  If you are at a lake or river, going into the water may help because of the wet and cold water or just to get his mind focused on something else.  The last will help him “grow” mentally as this is something most males don’t learn until later in life.

Third, cover up with a towel if the above don’t work or not available.  At all resorts, a person is required to carry a towel at all times to sit on when using chairs, benches etcetera.  He may want to carry an extra towel so he has one to sit on and one to cover up with if needed.

Forth, DO NOT make issue if he has to excuse himself to use a shower or jump into the lake.  Make sure he knows that if he says he is heading to the water and will be right back, it is okay and that you will not question it.

Fifth, this is something that I don’t recommend as he will discover this soon enough if he hasn’t already.   However, this maybe a good time to explain to him about masturbation if you haven’t already.  Masturbation is not wrong, it is not bad, it is not immoral.  It does not lessen one’s values.  I don’t recommend using this as a method to make his erection go away because you don’t want to mix nudity with sex.  This may be confusing to him unless you and your husband have gone to get lengths regarding the differences…. nudity does not mean sex…

Your son needs to know that what is happening to him is natural, is not cause to be embarrassed and means he is growing into a man.

I do encourage parents to read my blog and suggest this can be good reading material for your children.

Abby

Body Piercings and Nudity

Are genital piercing acceptable at a nudist resort?

Body piercings have always been a way to express one's self and to beautify the body.  A perfect and very common example is piercing of the ears.  Piercing of the ears have been done for generations here in America and it has been done and accepted in children and adults of all ages. Although some piercings are designed to enhance sexual sensations during sex with or without a partner, those same piercings also "beautify" the body.  Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

In my opinion all body piercing should be acceptable at a resort even though some resorts do not allow some genital piercings.  If you are planning a trip to a particular resort, call or email the resort and ask what the policy is regarding your exact type of piercing.  Don't beat around the bush, be honest and to the point as to the type piercing.

I have been lecturing and advising resorts for many years, trying to get resorts to accept piercings as a body expression NOT as a sexual attractant.  Although some people may consider genital piercing as a sexual expression these people must keep in mind that the piercings are also to make one appear more beautiful.

I have only a few piercings; ears pierced when I was about 5, my tongue pierced when I was fifteen and my belly button pierced when I was sixteen.  I still have all of my piercings and have no intention of removing them just to go to a nudist resort.  If the nudist resort I am interested in visiting does not allow body piercings, I don't go to that resort.

My brother on the other hand does have genital piercings and his piercings are not considered acceptable at some resorts.  Those resorts are ones we do not visit because he like me refuses to remove the piercings.

Be sure to check with the nudist resort before booking a stay or visiting the resort; don't wait until the last minute because the resorts rules may make you want to stay somewhere else.

Abby

An Apology For Being Nude

Although the title of this post maybe somewhat miss-leading, be sure and understand, at no time will there be an apology for be apart of a nudist life style. It is a personal choice that people make about how they want to live their life.

I receive emails time and time again (almost every day) from people either:
1. Saying how sinful being nude is, 2. Innuendos of having sex.
These people do not get it. Being nude is not against God; no where in the bible is there anything said about having to cover up, NO WHERE. Look it up, its not there. The discussion is about group sex or the like. It has been the thinking of the ministry that has added the train of thought that being nude is wrong or sinful. Again, being nude is NOT an invitation to have sex.

Innuendos of having sex. Being a Nudist does not mean a person is always out to have sex. Unrelated issues. It really is that simple. It is the mentality of people that has made nudity sex related. You can have sex without taking all of your cloths off. Just like you don't have to turn out the lights to have sex. But you do have to take your cloths off to be nude (obviously) and you don't have to have sex or even think about having sex just because you are naked.

You're naked when you shower; do you always have sex in the shower? No.
A majority of people sleep in the nude (ages from 5 to 100+); are they having sex every night? No.

Since a very young age most people are told to cover up or you can't run around naked, it's not acceptable. Yet in school during PE all the guys shower together after class as do all the girls, but this is considered acceptable. So if that is acceptable why is lying around a pool not acceptable? At a time in their lives when teenage hormones are running full force, we are pushing boys into showers -- being naked -- and the same with girls, can their immaturity really handle that after all these years of being told that being naked is okay only if you are in private?
What affects does this have on these teenagers mental growth?

Again, if it is okay to be naked around people you barely know as a teenager in a shower, why is it not acceptable to be naked at the beach or by a pool or in your backyard or at a resort?

Abby

Being Nude Is Not About Sex

When will people get it? Being naked is NOT about sex. Walking around, lying around or playing games while naked is not an invitation for sex. If you think being naked is about having sex, you're wrong and you don't get it. That is the mentality that has kept being nude so much a taboo.

Nude Pics

When I first started this blog, it was an effort to maximize the exposure to the true facts of research and studies performed for many years regarding nudism. In doing so, I have created a small community gathering of parents and their children and young adults (females and males) that have consistently thanked me for answering their questions with facts, examples and my opinion. In an effort to help people understand the nudist lifestyle I have not and will not start my own dot com community, charging membership fees. I am available via email, which I am happy to answer any and all questions.  Nor will I post nude pictures of anyone adult or otherwise to increase my readership.  Don't ask, don't beg, don't period! I will not post or send pics; period! Nudism is not about sex. It is away of life building family bonding, confidence and strong self assured people.

Abby.

Nudist Not Sex

One of the first and most common question I receive either via email, this blog or at a seminar is:
Isn't nudist just another way of saying 'let's have sex'?

Nudist lifestyle is not sexual. Yes there are confidence issues that can be solved by a nudist lifestyle or upbringing however, being nude is not always sexual nor does it have to be. It is an attitude, an intelligence level, a state of mind or pure way of life. A nudist community is not an invitation to a sexual orgy. And for those of you who did not know, the word orgy does not always apply to or is not always refering to sex.

Abby.

Nudists and Sex

Statistics show that nudists children have less curiosity regarding a naked body and sex as they age because the children have been raised in a nudist lifestyle which also includes a open minded and open communication between parents/adults and children. An open line of communication is a key to raising intelligent, respectful and well rounded children. To say no subject is off limits is one thing, but to feel comfortable to discuss any subject or topic is another. This train of thought is instituted in this lifestyle so the children are not only discussing and asking questions, they also build a closer relationship with parents and adults.

A nudist lifestyle is not sex related. As far as sex is concerned, appearances and curiosity of seeing a person naked is a driving force in teenage and young adults urges which often lead to sex. Most communication regarding nudity and sex is very open with no sense of taboo for any subject related to the body and sex so there is no topic that is off limits. In most cases, openness regarding questions of any kind is accepted as adults and children alike are encouraged to voice their questions or opinions. This does not mean it is considered acceptable to have sex at any age or to experiment with the body in any way. Most children are taught at a young age about sex, relationships, the human body and morals.

Early expose to the naked body and teaches that nudity is acceptable, natural and not wrong has diminished curiosity of seeing someone naked. This curiosity often leads to sexual activity when the curiosity is satisfied by disrobing and not stopping the curiosity at the sight of nakedness. This tends to be a precursor to sexual activity among the young and the adults in what is classed as "normal" society. Research has proven: young males and females are less sexually active involving the nudist lifestyle.

Statistics for non-nudist:

1 out of 10 girls between ages 15 – 18 have sex

1 out of 5 boys between ages 15 – 18 have sex

1 out of 20 girls between ages 11 – 14 have sex

1 out of 25 boys between ages 11 – 14 have sex

Statistics for nudist:

1 out of 35 girls between ages 15 – 18 have sex

1 out of 30 boys between ages 15 – 18 have sex

1 out of 80 girls between ages 11 – 14 have sex

1 out of 80 boys between ages 11 – 14 have sex

The results do not support nudists being sexually active to a higher degree than non-nudists are. In fact the research shows just the opposite which has been an on going argument for many to not accept or allow nudists in the real world.

Abby.

Raging Hormones–Lisa

We received another question regarding teenagers, so my Aunt Abby (that sounds so weird) thought it would be a good one for me to answer.  This question has to do with boys coming of age.

“Hi, I’m 16 year old boy.  My family is, my Mom, me and 3 sisters, one older (18) and two younger (15 and 13).  My problem is when we hangout in the nude, I get erections.  I can’t help it.  I don’t sit there thinking about sex with my sisters or mom.  I think about sex in general, yes, but not about them.  I also feel bad because I know that being nude isn’t about sex.

I’m sure seeing them naked does add to my thoughts and stuff but I don’t know what to do.  I’ve tried several things including masturbating before hanging out but with in minutes of being around everyone naked, I’m hard again.  We are a nudist family and have been since I was about 5.  My issues started a few years ago, but now it’s just getting worse than it ever has been. I do cover up with a towel to hide my erection but it lasts a long time.  Sometimes, I get an erection when we are playing a game, it’s like out of the blue I’m hard as can be.  Is this normal?  What am I to do?”

I’ve been around a lot of boys as they “mature”.  Seeing an erection for a long time nudist is not a big concern.  It happens especially with boys coming of age.  It’s hormones, there is nothing you can do about it.  I’ve seen boys in their teens, in their twenties, and all the way up to older men.  It happens.  There is nothing to be embarrassed about, shy or uncomfortable about.  You will reach a point when getting an erection while being around nudists will be less and less.  Eventually, getting an erection will be controllable (to a point) and the more you are use to being around nudists while hormones are raging, the less often it will happen.

From a young girls point of view, it is not embarrassing to us to see especially if the girl is raised as a nudist.  As girls get older and their hormones are raging, yes they may look at a guy with an erection in a sexual way.

You are doing the right things.  Masturbating will help, covering with a towel (but not out of embarrassment; out of consideration for others around you), also if you have to get up and leave for awhile until your erection dissipates, it’s ok.

Hopefully your mom and sisters understand and are not making an issue out of it and are not teasing or making fun of you.

Hope this helps.

L